Wingardium Leviosa

One night, I was at Myra's and we did a Skype call to Nada. Then out of nowhere I asked her

Me: Eh Nada, Emma Watson dropped out from Brown kan?

Nada: Aah

Me: Kenapa ek?

Nada: Sebab bila dia pergi mana-mana, orang cakap dekat dia Wingardium Leviosa (and Nada did some wand-waving action)

Me: gigling.

Nada: Lepas tu bila dia jawab soalan betul, orang cakap 10 points for Gryffindor (Nada imitating Dumbledore)

Nada, one crazy creature I tell you.

BITTERSWEET

I am no longer an undergraduate. It feels like just yesterday I left high school, then I went into college and now I’ve completed four years of bachelor degree.

There was a moment, I had no idea what we’re learning, and I wouldn’t want to be left alone with patient in the same room. Then, out of nowhere, miracle happened. The next thing I know, juniors are asking questions how to do this and that. Man, handling a bunch of patients at the same time. It’s crazy, I know.

There was a moment, where I had so many things to do. To attend clinical at hospital everyday, there was thesis to finish, manuscript, case studies, reflective studies, case study presentation, assignments, departmental project and all. I didn’t even know that I was able to graduate at all. And man, I couldn’t believe, I’ve got through all of that. Those 10 hours of sitting in front of laptop writing thesis, almost every night. Yeah, I still can feel the back pain and pressure sore at my butt-sometimes. It’s crazy, I know.

There was a moment, when doing orthopedics, I thought that I could be quite good in this area, and somewhat could perform well in my career somewhere in the future. Same thing happened to Peadiatric, Psychiatry and etc2. Today, Im freaking out. I feel like I never learned enough, and there is still some lacking somewhere-anywhere. Im freaking out, ok?

4 years are freakin short, man. Those sweats, and whining, late nights, random bitching. The classmates, the patients (the hot ones, or their hot dads), the crushes, the darling roomate (AJ), my awesome house. Everything! Im gonna miss all of that.

And where did those years gone? I still couldn’t believe what is really happening. I’ll let you know once I can catch up my breath ok?

So, what should I do now?

[lagak si penganggur]

Shoutout to all my friends doing medicine, most of y’all still have another one/two year(s) to go. Whenever in doubt, just think of one thing.

APA APA PUN, BOLEH LALU PUNYA!! (Zhi Han et al. 2011) J

nowimgonnasleeplikethereisnotomorrow.Okbye.

MDD

According to DSM IV, Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning;indicating that you have Major Depressive Episode


(1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).

(2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)

(3) significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

(4) insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

(5) psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)

(6) fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

(7) feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

(8) diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

(9) recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

I have 8. OMG!

And the fact that, I realized that Im having depression, it depresses me even more!

Life in 180

My life flipped 180.

I sleep around 7am everyday.

Wake up around 2pm.

I eat breakfast at 6pm.

Eat dinner around 10pm.

Starving throughout the night.

Video call with Myra, almost everynight until 7-8am *when she falls asleep*

And I feel great.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

How my life treating me so far.

Its been a while since my last

update. I just finished my last clinical posting - Psychiatry and went back to faculty for two VIVAs, and then again, I finally find some me time until my final exam on 12April. So,I headed back home.

While everyone stays for thesis writing and a bunch of interviews taking over as I speak, I just didnt care. I can write thesis at home, and interviews?? Nahhh there's a lot other opportunities elsewhere,I guess.

So, the final semester as undergraduate have been really fun. We started with O&M posting at Malaysian Association for the Blind (MAB). It was fun. I made a lot of new friends, learned new things and discovered wonderful things.

Meet my trainee, Randi Mahendra.

He is awesome, with ultimate musical talent.

They taught me Braille and how to use Braille machine.

So,yeah. Learn Braille. Checked!!!

definitely putting this in my resume.

We went shopping and bowling. They even made me play with my eyes close.

So fun!!

Then, we posted at SMK Pendidikan Khas (Cacat Penglihatan) Setapak. Meet M, my crazy trainee.

Then, we off to hospital for Peadiatric posting, Time to polish up my maternal skills.

Haha no joke.

Then soon after finishing Peads, I headed back hometown for Psychiatry psting at Hosp Bahagia,Tanjung Rambutan...

This is the most fun and unforgettable yet I hated the most.

Well, definitely loved the patients, having some hard time saying goodbye but I'm glad its over.

*wipe sweat*

P/S: Hosp Bahagia ialah kawasan larangan penggunaan kamera. So, takde gambar untuk dishare. Of course, you can curi-curi tangkap gambar, but people, its unethical!

Therefore, only a month (more or less) time left for me as undergraduate.

I will enjoy these last moments. *NOT!!*

Gotta go. 6 case studies to be submitted.

Goodbye love

I'll miss you!

I dont need to tell you to be strong, because you are strong!

I love you till death.

Its been a year,it doesnt suprise me!

On the new year's eve last year, I was busy helping around for my sister wedding. And during this new year's eve, I was still busy helping around my sister and my bro-in-law moving in to their new house.

So, Malaysian team won the AFF Suzuki Cup,our prime minister was so generous, he declared 31st December as public holiday. I was okay at first, because we didnt even have class in 31st December anyway. But then, when I received a lot of phone calls from the centre I conducted my research to submit this and that, email this and that urgently on 30Dec with the same statement "you have to send to me today because you know,tomorrow is public holiday" , I started to wonder "why tomorrow is public holiday. I wish the Malaysian team didnt win the cup". Ok scratch that. "I wish Malaysian team won, but PM wasnt that very kind".

Anyways, I left 2010 with tears. (Ok tipu,because I was sleeping on new year's eve.Mak kejut bangun tengok fireworks pun tak heran). 2010 has been so kind. Im just gonna say this. I think 2010 is the best year in my 22 years life (exclamation marks!!)

1. Internship dekat equine industry. The experience I thankful the most. Lepas grad, ada plan nak ambil 0 level dalam horsemanship.
2. Duty sebagai kakak betul2 kena uji bila parents went to Mecca. Kena masak untuk adik-adik, beli barang dapur. Bila malam, perah otak nak masak apa untuk breakfast esok. Ok baru faham apa mak rasa.
3. Three months clinical attachment at Hospital Sungai Buloh. Perit gila travel everyday from Kg Baru-Sg Buloh naik motor hari2, then lepas sebulan give up. Naik KTM pulak setiap hari. Kena bangun awal, balik lambat everyday. Duit banyak habis, masa banyak terbuang. Nasib baik boleh claim dari JPA. But,I learned a lot.
4. Bought my first guitar and start learningand playing seriously.
5. Ran my first marathon. Larian Bainun dulu tak kira, sebab boleh singgah2 rumah penduduk kampung Manjoi mintak air.
6. Berpuasa sebanyak 58hari eventhough I failed to hit my aim; 100days. Ok maybe this year.
7. Alhamdulillah, thesis berjalan lancar.
8. 31 December baru nak check result. Alhamdulillah....

However,2010 wasnt that very kind because I was not always on top of my health.

1. Had diarrhea for 5days.Never had like this before.
2. Plantar fasciitis getting worse. Lari sikit dah sakit.Pakai kasut murah sikit dah sakit. Kalau malas buat Archilles stretch before workout, esoknya confirm jalan menjengket. Boleh transplant kaki tak?
3. My Carpal Tunnel Syndrome makin mengada-ngada. Langsung tak boleh hidup without wrist pad.
4. Demam sampai 3kali tahun lepas. Selalu setahun sekali je, takpun takde langsung.
5. Batuk-batuk sudah 2minggu masuk hari ni.

I blame the immune system, weather, lecturers, assignments, and money. My friend insisted that these are the sign and symptoms of 'Final Year Syndrome'.

Im graduating in 5months. woot woot~