Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Wingardium Leviosa

One night, I was at Myra's and we did a Skype call to Nada. Then out of nowhere I asked her

Me: Eh Nada, Emma Watson dropped out from Brown kan?
Nada: Aah
Me: Kenapa ek?
Nada: Sebab bila dia pergi mana-mana, orang cakap dekat dia Wingardium Leviosa (and Nada did some wand-waving action)
Me: gigling.
Nada: Lepas tu bila dia jawab soalan betul, orang cakap 10 points for Gryffindor (Nada imitating Dumbledore)

Nada, one crazy creature I tell you.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I am no longer an undergraduate. It feels like just yesterday I left high school, then I went into college and now I’ve completed four years of bachelor degree.

There was a moment, I had no idea what we’re learning, and I wouldn’t want to be left alone with patient in the same room. Then, out of nowhere, miracle happened. The next thing I know, juniors are asking questions how to do this and that. Man, handling a bunch of patients at the same time. It’s crazy, I know.

There was a moment, where I had so many things to do. To attend clinical at hospital everyday, there was thesis to finish, manuscript, case studies, reflective studies, case study presentation, assignments, departmental project and all. I didn’t even know that I was able to graduate at all. And man, I couldn’t believe, I’ve got through all of that. Those 10 hours of sitting in front of laptop writing thesis, almost every night. Yeah, I still can feel the back pain and pressure sore at my butt-sometimes. It’s crazy, I know.

There was a moment, when doing orthopedics, I thought that I could be quite good in this area, and somewhat could perform well in my career somewhere in the future. Same thing happened to Peadiatric, Psychiatry and etc2. Today, Im freaking out. I feel like I never learned enough, and there is still some lacking somewhere-anywhere. Im freaking out, ok?

4 years are freakin short, man. Those sweats, and whining, late nights, random bitching. The classmates, the patients (the hot ones, or their hot dads), the crushes, the darling roomate (AJ), my awesome house. Everything! Im gonna miss all of that.

And where did those years gone? I still couldn’t believe what is really happening. I’ll let you know once I can catch up my breath ok?

So, what should I do now?

[lagak si penganggur]

Shoutout to all my friends doing medicine, most of y’all still have another one/two year(s) to go. Whenever in doubt, just think of one thing.

APA APA PUN, BOLEH LALU PUNYA!! (Zhi Han et al. 2011) J


Sunday, April 24, 2011


According to DSM IV, Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning;indicating that you have Major Depressive Episode

(1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful).

(2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)

(3) significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.

(4) insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day

(5) psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)

(6) fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day

(7) feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)

(8) diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)

(9) recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

I have 8. OMG!

And the fact that, I realized that Im having depression, it depresses me even more!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Life in 180

My life flipped 180.
I sleep around 7am everyday.
Wake up around 2pm.
I eat breakfast at 6pm.
Eat dinner around 10pm.
Starving throughout the night.
Video call with Myra, almost everynight until 7-8am *when she falls asleep*
And I feel great.

Monday, March 28, 2011

How my life treating me so far.

Its been a while since my last
update. I just finished my last clinical posting - Psychiatry and went back to faculty for two VIVAs, and then again, I finally find some me time until my final exam on 12April. So,I headed back home.

While everyone stays for thesis writing and a bunch of interviews taking over as I speak, I just didnt care. I can write thesis at home, and interviews?? Nahhh there's a lot other opportunities elsewhere,I guess.

So, the final semester as undergraduate have been really fun. We started with O&M posting at Malaysian Association for the Blind (MAB). It was fun. I made a lot of new friends, learned new things and discovered wonderful things.

Meet my trainee, Randi Mahendra.
He is awesome, with ultimate musical talent.

They taught me Braille and how to use Braille machine.
So,yeah. Learn Braille. Checked!!!
definitely putting this in my resume.

We went shopping and bowling. They even made me play with my eyes close.
So fun!!

Then, we posted at SMK Pendidikan Khas (Cacat Penglihatan) Setapak. Meet M, my crazy trainee.

Then, we off to hospital for Peadiatric posting, Time to polish up my maternal skills.
Haha no joke.

Then soon after finishing Peads, I headed back hometown for Psychiatry psting at Hosp Bahagia,Tanjung Rambutan...
This is the most fun and unforgettable yet I hated the most.
Well, definitely loved the patients, having some hard time saying goodbye but I'm glad its over.
*wipe sweat*

P/S: Hosp Bahagia ialah kawasan larangan penggunaan kamera. So, takde gambar untuk dishare. Of course, you can curi-curi tangkap gambar, but people, its unethical!

Therefore, only a month (more or less) time left for me as undergraduate.
I will enjoy these last moments. *NOT!!*
Gotta go. 6 case studies to be submitted.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Goodbye love

I'll miss you!
I dont need to tell you to be strong, because you are strong!
I love you till death.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Its been a year,it doesnt suprise me!

On the new year's eve last year, I was busy helping around for my sister wedding. And during this new year's eve, I was still busy helping around my sister and my bro-in-law moving in to their new house.

So, Malaysian team won the AFF Suzuki Cup,our prime minister was so generous, he declared 31st December as public holiday. I was okay at first, because we didnt even have class in 31st December anyway. But then, when I received a lot of phone calls from the centre I conducted my research to submit this and that, email this and that urgently on 30Dec with the same statement "you have to send to me today because you know,tomorrow is public holiday" , I started to wonder "why tomorrow is public holiday. I wish the Malaysian team didnt win the cup". Ok scratch that. "I wish Malaysian team won, but PM wasnt that very kind".

Anyways, I left 2010 with tears. (Ok tipu,because I was sleeping on new year's eve.Mak kejut bangun tengok fireworks pun tak heran). 2010 has been so kind. Im just gonna say this. I think 2010 is the best year in my 22 years life (exclamation marks!!)

  1. Internship dekat equine industry. The experience I thankful the most. Lepas grad, ada plan nak ambil 0 level dalam horsemanship.
  2. Duty sebagai kakak betul2 kena uji bila parents went to Mecca. Kena masak untuk adik-adik, beli barang dapur. Bila malam, perah otak nak masak apa untuk breakfast esok. Ok baru faham apa mak rasa.
  3. Three months clinical attachment at Hospital Sungai Buloh. Perit gila travel everyday from Kg Baru-Sg Buloh naik motor hari2, then lepas sebulan give up. Naik KTM pulak setiap hari. Kena bangun awal, balik lambat everyday. Duit banyak habis, masa banyak terbuang. Nasib baik boleh claim dari JPA. But,I learned a lot.
  4. Bought my first guitar and start learningand playing seriously.
  5. Ran my first marathon. Larian Bainun dulu tak kira, sebab boleh singgah2 rumah penduduk kampung Manjoi mintak air.
  6. Berpuasa sebanyak 58hari eventhough I failed to hit my aim; 100days. Ok maybe this year.
  7. Alhamdulillah, thesis berjalan lancar.
  8. 31 December baru nak check result. Alhamdulillah....
However,2010 wasnt that very kind because I was not always on top of my health.
  1. Had diarrhea for 5days.Never had like this before.
  2. Plantar fasciitis getting worse. Lari sikit dah sakit.Pakai kasut murah sikit dah sakit. Kalau malas buat Archilles stretch before workout, esoknya confirm jalan menjengket. Boleh transplant kaki tak?
  3. My Carpal Tunnel Syndrome makin mengada-ngada. Langsung tak boleh hidup without wrist pad.
  4. Demam sampai 3kali tahun lepas. Selalu setahun sekali je, takpun takde langsung.
  5. Batuk-batuk sudah 2minggu masuk hari ni.
I blame the immune system, weather, lecturers, assignments, and money. My friend insisted that these are the sign and symptoms of 'Final Year Syndrome'.

Im graduating in 5months. woot woot~

Sunday, December 19, 2010

There goes my holiday. pfft

Im back at my home sweetest home, PlazaRah. Wait,if PlazaRah is my home sweetest home, what about my real home??? Hermmm I guess my real home,I would call- heaven.

So,my semester break has officially ended. This is my last break before Im having a nice real break. Yeah, Im graduating in 5months yo. So, new semester, please end very soon. Im sick of you.

We only had 4weeks of holiday but we, the final year students must devote our precious holiday for data collection. Yes,thesis is one pain in the ass. Lucky for me, I choosed 2centres to conduct my research which are NASAM Ampang and NASAM Ipoh, 2weeks at each centre. In that way, I could at least spend 2weeks at home rather than spend the whole holiday in KL.

Being a mengada person, I couldnt stand being so lonely at KL so I only been at NASAM Ampang for a week, then I headed back home to conduct my reasearch for 3weeks at NASAM Ipoh.

NASAM was awesome. NASAM Ipoh was superb. The staffs are super nice, the people are amazing. I had a good time of my life.

Most clients here are Chinese. And most of them couldnt speak English or Malay, they only speak Cantonese.
And I had some help from this super nice physiotherapist,Irene (the one in black shirt) to sit with me and translate the whole test to Cantonese.
I owed her big time. Lupa nak belanja her steamboat.

So,Christmas is around the corner. The celebration at NASAM is quite happening.
I helped decorate the tree,yo! Ok just hanged one ornament. Thats all.

And here,we are now preparing for one Christmas event next week. So, everyday all you hear is people rehearsing and singing Christmas carol.
It was fun,really!

My holiday was not really fun. For 3weeks, I was not really on top of my health. I had massive diarrhea for 4days, then when I thought I had recovered, I had a fever, then after fever subsided, I had severe sore throat(which in case I couldnt speak as much as I did, finished half a bottle of Listerine) then a flu which is just wont go away. SHITE!!!

My parents were at Mecca,so I was a total broke. Didnt go out as much as I did. Havent eaten prosperity burger. Only went to Mapley a few times to have Roti Milo because it was way cheaper than Prosperity Burger. Havent watched Harry Potter.

Luckily technology invented TV. I survived by only watching TV the whole day. Nahh no big deal. Nowadays we have Masterchef, Topchef, CakeBoss, Criminal Minds, Bones, Are you Smarter than A 5th Grader, Mythbusters, Ghost Lab and many more. Seriously, I watched them all!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mumbai, here I come.

I just watched Wake Up Sid.I know, I know...Im not really catching up with the latest movies and all but thanks to my friend Leeya, she just wont stop nagging until I download this movie and finished watching it.

Seriously, I loved every minute of it. The story was so fresh and alive and I should mention, a lil bit cliche but different. Now, I really am going to Mumbai.

Ok now there goes my rm400++ maybank saving that I planned visiting Myra at Nottingham and Dyla at Dublin. Sorry girls, I gotta hit Mumbai first!!!

P/S: And seriously, stop with all the vye-why-do-you-like-Indians bullshit talking. Its annoying, really! You like Koreans or the Chinese, I never make fun of you, so shut the fuck up!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Lets cherish the day you become old.

Well aku rasa, aku satu-satunya manusia yang wish kau dekat facebook, twitter, Skype, sms and sekarang dekat blog pulak.
Since my last post wishing you a happy birthday. we've come so far to this moment, where I cherish the day you became old. Lets see what had happened in a year...

Spending some quality time. Kita memang awesome, setiap kali mandi, pool mesti kosong, takpun orang cepat2 blah bila kita nak mandi..

Ni masa kita picnic dekat Sg Gabai. Air sejuk gila, kau almost pengsan.. Pelik betul allergy kau tu.
Chana kene ikat sanggul kau tinggi-tinggi dah macam orang bersalin dah.

Hahaha..Masing-masing excited cerita pengalaman lepas turun slide tu..

Ini masa kita join KL Marathon. We were so awesome, sampai taxi driver pun wish goodluck dekat kita.
Lepas abis run, kita pekena roti canai. Haha memang terbaik.Sia-sia lari.

Ini masa kita buat surprise party untuk Shiela dekat Palete Pallete. Masa blackout tu,kita punya excited sebab leh tangkap gambar dengan candle tu.

Ini masa kita pergi climb Broga Hill. Alahh it was just a small hill kan. Turun tu siap boleh berlari-lari lagi.
Ingat tak,esoknya semua orang buat tarian penguin sebab sakit kaki kecuali aku,kau and Shiela. Hahaha kita memang awesome.

Lepas tu, favourite kita dekat Pelita. Ayam Madu ,mesti kena campur dengan killer combination of kuah. Kalau tak,jadi tak sedap.

Satu hari kau cakap, kau nak try makan burung pulak. Last-last aku yang dapat try dulu.
Kau tanya : Sedap tak? Aku jawab : Sedap je, tapi aku makan depan Ary, so aku kena cover2. Kalau makan dengan lahap penuh nafsu serakah baru best.
Second time, aku makan dengan kau, PUAS!!!

Tony Roma's
It never gets old,huh?

Favourite menu kita dekat Tony Roma's : Onion Loaf.
Ni pun kau yang suruh aku try. Kita makan lahap gila, kiri kanan makan bersepah-sepah meja.
Hahaha hari tu aku makan lagi!

Ni masa squash game kita.
Aku main punya awesome, sampai aku rasa almost2 kepala nak meletup sebab MCA aneurysm!

Ini masa kita beli beg murah gila dekat PC Fair.
Kita punya awesome, ugut orang tu jual murah jugak kalau tak kita taknak beli, sampai dia tolong bayarkan untuk kita, konon-konon tak boleh murah lagi dah.
Kita camwhoring depan cermin sebab aku nak tayang cermin aku beli dekat Ikea rm19.90.

Did you realize how many times,I mention the word "AWESOME"?
Because Im so awesome that I have to give you some.

Dyla,No matter how far we went separate ways, you are still the breast!! Err I mean the best!!!
Happy Birthday,little girl.

P/S : Happy Birthday,Ridhuan!
Aku nak display gambar kau tengah merajuk.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

I watched the whole thing fall

Hari ini sudah 21Syawal.
Sudahkah anda berpuasa 6, atau berpuasa ganti???
Hahaha aku malas cakap, nanti korang kata aku riak!

Bila dengar ustaz tadi cakap dalam TV harini dah 21syawal,saya jadi sayu.
Betul. Tak tipu ini. Ini adalah kerana, raya ke-5 saya sudah balik ke KL.
Mengadap laptop,menyiapkan my final year portfolio, thesis lagi.
Bila tahap bosan gila, and Myra forced me to stay over at her house.
Saya seperti orang mengantuk disorongkan bantal.

Yes, Syawal kali ni (setelah 21hari berlalu),
tak pernah pergi satu pun openhouse.
Beraya dekat 4rumah aje (Efa,telo, Leeya, Fatin Hakimah)
Well,at least I managed to wear baju raya for the whole first day.
Yeah, saya berpegang janji saya!

This weekend,Myra buat openhouse.
Yeah,that's one!!!
Next week ada open house Hosp Sg Buloh. Who is coming with me???
Next week jugak, pergi beraya rumah ibu(my mak angkat)
Next week jugak, pergi tengok Teater Muzikal Tun Dr Mahathir.
I tell you,this man is like my grandpa.
Long live,Tun!

Tomorrow is my last day at spinal ward.
Being here,is always emotional to me.
I cant imagine how they're feel, especially those younger patients.
They have the whole life ahead, and suddenly

Well, I guess I just need to learn to overcome those feelings.
Try to be more firm but full of empathy.
Faith is cruel and creepy.
Life is too short, dont think just do!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Happy Independence Day!

Happy Independence Day!

Today, Dyla and I took the liberty as a true Malaysian and went to celebrate the independence day with fellow Malaysians!!!

Sempena kemerdekaan ke 53, jom kita sama-sama berusaha keras memajukan negara.
Jangan makan duit kerajaan/duit rakyat.
Guna hak kita sama rata
Hentikan vandalism.
Boikot mat rempit!!!
And for God sake, coach tengah hanya untuk wanita sahaja sepanjang masa!!!
Manakala coach depan/belakang bukan coach lelaki,dumbass!!!

Something worth the attention!!! Good job,guys. Im proud of you.

The free Jalur Gemilang they provide, and the giant Jalur Gemilang.
Nothing excites Dyla more !

So, Happy Independence Day y'all..

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ramdan Kareem

Bila bulan Ramdhan sampai, saya mula gelabah.
Fikir dekat mana nak tidur during lunch break.
Surau hospital sentiasa penuh dengan student Nursing macam2 warna uniform, naik pening kepala.
Ada warna biru pekat,biru laut, pink tawar, pink masin, shocking pink pun ada.
Paling pelik, nampak students pakai uniform sejibik macam uniform MRSM. Ingatkan super junior.. hehehhe

Memories..I tell you.

So,time lunch, kami pun decide untuk stay dalam department yang sejuk beku mengalahkan zaman ais batu.
Tidur jela atas katil treatment tu walaupun dah sedia maklum ada berapa juta germs atas bed sheet yang ditukar seminggu sekali tu.
My crib.

Satu hari,kami dioffer supaya tidur dalam bilik Paediatrik.
Jakun jakun jakun. Pernah masuk HUKM punya je, Sg Buloh belum lagi.

Aksi jakun:
Extra strength trampoline. Boleh menampung up until 200kg (I guess)
Lompat beria macam tak pernah jumpa.

Aksi akrobatik atas super-big-bouncable-red gym ball.

The swing,

Ball pool. Last time, my coursemate Chong Ki terjun dalam pool yang sama dekat faculty, tapi pool tu xkukuh.
Kali ni awesome punya pool, 2orang dewasa masuk pon dia cool je.

And I met this beautiful baby,Varshan
Mind his big blue eyes. Ohh Im in love.

Kenapa kau baru setahun,kalau dah 23 tahun, aku dah ajak kau kahwin!

SORRY Russel!
Aunty dah jumpa penggantimu!!!

Sunday, August 22, 2010


I once came across about this issue on Mariella's blog.
Apparently, there is a village in Austria named FUCKING

And the last few days, I keep watching Sound of Music again and again,
and start wondering If Im going to look like Julie Andrew at the age of 75,
amazed with Austrian folk dance, Laendler like I'm watching it for the 1st time,
talking to myself in front of the screen how Liesl has a wondeful eyes,
singing The Lonely Goathered at 3am,Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

So,Ive been doing my research, studying about Austria, Salzburg to be exact, where the filming of Sound of Music took place,
and again I came across of this Fucking village.

Apparently, the village was founded by a man named Focko, so Fucking means "Focko people"
Its road signs are a popular attraction for visitors, and they were often stolen by souvenir-hunting tourists until 2005 when they were modified to be theft-resistant.
Disebabkan road sign ni selalu sangat kena curi, diorang suggest untuk tukar the village's name. But the Fucking residents, refused. According to its mayor "everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us Fucking is Fucking — and it's going to stay Fucking." (LOL sounded funny to me!)

British and American soldiers who were based in nearby Salzburg noticed the name after World War II, and they began to travel to the village to have their photos taken beside the signs whilst striking various poses. The local residents, the Fuckingers, were considerably bemused as they had not previously been aware of the meaning of their village's name in English.Since then, the number of visitors to Fucking has increased.

In November 2008 the village hosted the Festival of the Fuck Bands music festival, which featured bands Fucked Up, Holy Fuck, Fuck and Fuck Button.
-source Wikipedia

So the residents are called the Fuckingers?Ingatkan The Fuckers.
Also, a local resident sold t-shirts featuring the village road signs, with the slogan "I like Fucking in Austria" printed on them. Sumpah nak beli baju ni, pakai depan MakLong,MakNgah, MakWan, Paksu,Paklang,MakAndak masa raya. Sure freakout orang tua tu. hahahahhahaha

And there I thought Fucking is a funny name of one place. Then,I found out there are a lot of places with funny names all over the world

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I miss you

Hi Russel, aunty mu rindu kamu.
Hope di hari raya ini kita akan ketemu.
Harap, bila kau dah besar, dah pandai baca,
bila kau baca entry ini,
percayalah aunty buat khas untuk kau.
Kau mesti terharu.

Sekarang kau dah pandai jalan, dah kurus sikit.
Nanti rupa dah tak macam Russel.
Dah takboleh panggil kau Russel,
kena panggil nama sebenar kau.
Aunty pun tak tahu nama sebenar kau apa.
Please laa gemuk balik.
Gemuk,gemuk,gemuk please.

Jangan risau pasal artherosclerosis, Diabetes, Hypertension.
We'll worry about that later.
Bila kau dah besar.
Auntie boleh jadi personal trainer kau.
Takdehal punya.
Sekarang, jadi gemuk balik please!!!