Tuesday, May 25, 2010

AAL IZZ WELL

Aku blank. Hidup aku dah macam orang gila sebab thesis. Kalo thesis ni manusia, memang aku dah pijak sampai kidney die pecah.
Tak boleh ke aku hidup dengan makan dan facebook je?

Semalam, I blamed everything including God for making my life miserable.
Lepas tu dapat satu lecture panjang dari dyla.
"u have to look things from bright side.complain will never solve anything never make things easier.die jadikan ko lagi lembik ade lah.instead of facing the probs
ko turn away and complain. saying how luck never been on your side blame fate.. bla bla bla"

Padan muka aku!
People, I have the best shrink! hahahha

Kalau aku Farhan/Raju dalam 3Idiots, umpama Rancho suruh aku cakap "Aal Izz Well" setiap kali hidup jadi suck.

AAL IZZ WELL

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Justin Bieber is prettier than my grandmother

Situasi 1:

Abah : Eh Ain terkeluar tau.
Saya : Ain? Apa? Siapa?
Abah : AF
Saya : Abahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! (sambil mempamerkan muka tak percaya sebab ayah sendiri tengok AF)


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Situasi 2 : Saya bersama adik lelaki, Aby

Saya : Aby, cepatlah mandi. Dah pukul berapa ni?
Aby : Thambi harus mandi 3kali sebulan"(With tamil slang)
Saya : ??????


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Situasi 3 : dalam kereta

Lagu Baby - Justin Bieber berkumandang.

Saya, Alia dan Aby. 3 beradik menyanyi dengan sekuat hati. Nampak seperti sungguh meng-enjoy saat itu..
Bila dah habis, fikir-fikir balik.
" Shit, Justin Bieber!"

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Situasi 4

Saya,
Pekerjaan : mengutuk Justin Bieber 24/7

16 May 2010 - Balik rumah, terus bukak Youtube, search Justin Biber - Eenie Meenie

SHIT!!!

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Situasi 4 :

Pitbull: Ada ke orang polypenises? Betul ke ada term tu?
Justin Bieber : Apa kau mengarut ni?

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WORLD IS A FUNNY PLACE
PEOPLE ARE WEIRD
JUSTIN BIEBER IS A GIRL!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Who has the largest penis?

Satu tengah hari, aku tengah bergayut telefon dengan seorang kawan.
Lepas tu aku complaint, aku cakap sekarang aku makin pelupa
Dia kata " Aku pun samalah, aku rasa sebab kita banyak sangat cakap benda kotor"
"Cakap benda kotor?" Aku jawab.
" Cheh kau tak tau si Justin Bieber (bukan nama sebenar. Dia seorang perempuan.) Dia lagi kotor. Setiap benda keluar dari mulut semua kotor" Aku tambah lagi..

Satu malam, aku chat dengan Justin Bieber.
Aku cakap,sekarang aku suka sorang Arab ni. Handsome gila.
Justin Bieber terus " wei ko tau tak, orang Arab ni penis dah laa besar"

Aku : weh kau serius ke? Aku ingat kan European.
JB: Tak,arab besar lagi. ko tak tau ke, mmg diorang paling besar.

---Aku tak puas hati, terus google 'which race has the biggest penis'---

A: Weh Justin, mane ade laa. Apparently, African paling besar. Ada recent study tunjuk African paling besar and Asian paling kecik.
JB : Hish xde laa. Memang Arab.

--- Kami pun terus bertukar2 url link----

tiba-tiba
JB: Weh aku da jumpa dah ni. (dia gelak terbahak-bahak). Ko tengok ni,( dia bg link)

"Arab men, who were often mixed with black, had larger penises than
Europeans. Recent data show similar patterns. Measurements taken from
living subjects as well as those at autopsy, show the size of testes
is twofold lower in Asian men than Europeans (9 g vs 21 g), a
difference too large to be accounted for entirely in terms of body
size (Diamond, 1986; Short, 1984)."

Aku : aah la. Tapi kenapa banyak study tunjuk Asian paling kecik. Kenapa Arab besar lak? Haish aku xpuas hati ni.

--kami berdua sambung google, tambah ilmu---

tetiba
Aku : Weh chup! Egypt kat benua mana? Asia kan?
JB : Entah la.Asia ke?
Aku : Eh dia bukan Asia Barat ke? macam Pakistan, Afghanistan tu semua.

---google 'Egypt belongs to which continent'---

Aku : Weh JB. Egypt is in benua Afrika la. No wonder. (Hampa)
JB :
See! kan aku dah cakap. Afrika, arab ni sama je. Semua besar2.
JB : Ko tau x, . . . . . . . . . .

.
.
.
.
.

Aku : gelak terbahak-bahak sampai jaw sakit. "Haih kau ni memang betul2 kotor la. Ni kalau mak aku dengar ape kite borak ni, mengucap panjang orang tua tu"

.
.
.
.
.

We stayed up that night talking about penis. . . . . One area of my expertise... NOT.
There are so many things I just didnt know. Im so naive.

P/S :Banyak lagi benda kami cakap, tapi xsesuai untuk tontonan umum. Jangan nangis sebab rasa ternoda pulak. Ilmu ni.


Saturday, May 8, 2010

BOREDOM KILLS

I went back to KL, got class for a week. Class started on Monday 3rdMay,so I got back few days earlier for Iron Man 2. Of course I didn’t wanna watch it at Ipoh. Those people are ridiculous, they talk and tell stupid jokes inside cinema and they laugh over something that is not funny. They act like a bunch of giraffes. Yeah whatever, I don’t care.

By the way, Iron Man 2 is awesome and Kick Ass is really kicking ass. And Jonathan Groff is gay. I know, it kills me!

Before the class started,I went out like everyday with my friends. But still, I just have nothing to do.

I finished watching 2seasons of Scrubs. And watched Ugly Betty +Grey’s Anatomy+ House. Then I listened to country songs, they make me feel like a rockstar. Watched a couple episodes of How I met Your Mother, then I get bored, watched Scrubs again. Never get tired of it. Then back-to-back playing Glee songs, sing my heart out, dance my crap out. Watched some movies Myra gave me – The BackUp Plan (Don’t watch it if you dont have the whole ideas of American Dream, having family and kids. No, don’t watch it. Its creepy.) Then, when I reached the point I just don’t know what to do, I lie down, watch the fan and ceiling.

For only 3days of wandering around I started to miss my back-home daily routine. Wake up and skype-d by Dyla “ weh kau tido lagi ke?? Bangun la. Aku dah ngantuk ni”. Chat, share some stupid Wikipedia info or we just video chatting, singing Glee songs together.

Then,hit the gym, get back home, watch Oprah, watch CSI’s . Sleep throughout the day, pick up mommy from work, waste some time, watch Oprah, and watch some Scrubs and sleep. I know, its boring. Who cares, I loved it anyway.

Yes, I have reached the point I reach out my Pathology book and study. What was I doing? Exam is over, and yet there I was studying the freaking Pathology. Boredom not only kills, it turns you psychotic!

And I thank God, I safely reached Ipoh tonight. Ohh I miss cyber world. Lots of catch up gotta do. And I can get back of my ol dull daily routine.