Why i shouldnt be called a human???

One week passed after my mid-term exam. At da moment, i should have started to prepare for my final examination. And yet, here I am.Laying myself all day long, playing games, chatting, dreaming.

Please! I need a motivation. I need the sense of initiation. I need something to happen. I need a reason to push myself, and to put myself among good students in my class. I realised the changes that happened to myself recently. Im growing. i did not become any younger, and i should be able to become mature, to think far ahead. But what am i doing?? I wanna become smarter, wiser, better.

Damn it!! I think i should die now. Growing in this human form, without the ability to think wiser, to perform the good responsibility to my parents, I think i shouldnt be called a human being.